What Cause Us The Most Trouble As Human Beings?

I think the thing that causes us the most trouble as human beings is our reluctance to deal with things simply as they are. Seriously. You name it. Whether it’s a situation or someone’s behavior or your relationship or your job or your living/work situation, chances are the thing that causes you the most grief comes down to not seeing it all clearly, as it is, simple and without judgment.

You know, all too often we want something a certain way when it’s just not that way, but we continue on as if it were and cause ourselves nothing but more and more difficulty. Or we become so focused on how we want something to be that we can’t see anything else and something that we could fix or change or even just feel bad about then let go never gets resolved.

I see this all the time in the day job. Someone comes to our office with a situation, I lay out the options and those aren’t the options they wanted so they go barreling off doing something else or spending all their time making a fuss about something that cannot be changed, instead of just solving it right now and moving on. Chances are you probably see someone doing this exact thing when it comes to relationships. Whether it’s how they want their partner to act or something they want their partner to do or stop doing, I bet you’re sitting on the sidelines thinking, “That ain’t gonna happen” or “Do you now know who you married?”

This is even something that you see a lot in Bob’s Burgers. It’s Bob’s character flaw—totally connected to his inability to not let things go (Gene calls him on this in the episode “L'il Hard Dad"). Next watch through, pay attention to how often the conflict of the show arises because Bob acts as if something is a certain way when it clearly is not.

Now, it's important to note, that this is not me saying we shouldn’t feel our feelings, right? Or even vent our frustrations (“Man, if so and so would just—” or “If the train ran through the south of town instead of—”) You should feel however you feel. I mean, feelings aren’t the problem, it’s how we relate to them. Denying them isn’t helpful to us, nor is letting them run our lives. But it's important to remember that just because we feel a certain way about something doesn't mean it's going to change or go away. That comes down to our actions.